Chasing Butterflies
by MariskaMania
Summary: Starting at the end, to get to the heart of the problem. Olivia battles inner demons, whilst trapped in a dark place. The rest of the Detectives go "Ghost" hunting to catch their perp. Will Olivia survive this time? OR is it Bye Bye Benson.. E/O.


**A/N: SVU does not belong to me, none of the characters belong to me either. They are not my creation, this story is though. I hope you enjoy this fanfic, for those who read the first chapter those long months ago, I apologise for the lack of updates. I let this story slip, but I'm bringing it back again. I hope you like it, and as always, if you have the time, please review. **

**Many thanks, Beth. **

**/**

Not knowing, that was the worst part. The darkness surrounded Olivia, she sat contemplating her own impending death. There was no movement, she wasn't in a vehicle, she was stationary. The deep abyss of nothingness swallowed Olivia whole; she closed her eyes and opened them again. Her eyes didn't adjust to the darkness, they settled to what would be her lap. The immeasurably deep chasm scared the detective, she pulled her legs up to her chest and cradled herself. Where was she? How long had she been here? She didn't know.

Her body was cold, her skin had adopted a pewter tone. A flash of heat gripped at her hand like someone was holding it; there was no one there. The darkness ceased to surrender; she let out a frustrated sigh. She was trapped.

'_Pull it together Olivia_.' she thought to herself, '_Elliot will be here soon. You're fine. Calm down_.' She ran her fingers through her hair, a shudder ran down her spine; what was taking him so long? It felt like an eternity of hellish silence had passed by her, but she was still alive.

Feeling her body sink against the wall, she took a deep breath in. Calming herself slightly, she realised she was still sinking. The floor caved in beneath her, Olivia slipped through the cracks, falling like feather; she felt weightless. Explosions of colour disorientated her more than the darkness had, a pain ripped through her chest. A confusion so severe perplexed her mind, paralysing any thoughts she once had. A subconscious portal in her mind opened. A sudden firework of blinding light forced Olivia out of her darkness, she landed heavily on grass. Standing up, she grasped at her head, looking around, she instantly knew this place.

"Mommy, Mommy look." hearing a little girl, Olivia became very aware of her surroundings very quickly.

Olivia's eyes followed a young girl as she ran in to the back yard, her smile was bright and innocent. She knew this girl.

She _was_ this girl.

"What is it?" Serena called out.

"Mom." Olivia whispered as she became an onlooker on her past self.

"I made this for you." six year old Olivia Benson stood holding up a piece of paper; staring at her younger self, Olivia remembered that painting; she remember how proud she had been.

"Wow! I love it Liv." Tears threatened Olivia as she heard her Mother talking. She rubbed her eyes denyingly.

"Can you put it on the refrigerator?" an excitement filled Olivia's body, like she was a child again. She was feeling exactly what she had felt all those years ago. Pride sent a tingle through Olivia; a persistent smile forced itself on Olivia's lips.

Olivia watched her Mom nod; following her Mother, and past self to the back door. A happiness once forgotten had re-emerged. Olivia remembered her Mother for who she had been. For everything she craved in a Mother.

"My little Liv, the artist." Serena smiled, she put a hand on her daughter's shoulder, giving it a small squeeze; Olivia looked at her own shoulder feeling the warm Motherly touch. She reached for her shoulder, the heat of a hand lay under her cold palm.

The paintwork around Olivia's heart chipped slightly seeing her Mother again. The nightmares of alcoholism had etched away all the good memories. Scanning the kitchen counters, Olivia couldn't see a single bottle of alcohol. Warm air caressed the detective's face, blowing her hair. Olivia closed her eyes, she felt her stomach flip, a gravitational pull dragged her back to the darkness.

Landing with a hard thud, Olivia knew she was back where she had started off; she was back in the darkness. A lump rose in her throat, memories of her Mother flooded her mind. Like a picture book, they unfolded in front of her eyes. Lashing out with both hands, Olivia destroyed the projected memories. '_No more. Stop this._' she begged herself. Leaning back, her strength was diminishing, she felt weaker with each breath. Closing her eyes, it was deadly silent in her darkness. She felt the pull of destiny holding her down, pinning her to the spot. She didn't resist.

A patter of heeled shoes startled Olivia; abruptly sitting up with new found energy, she looked around helplessly, but she couldn't see anything.

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"How's she doin'?" Fin asked as he gave a cup of coffee to Elliot.

Letting go of Olivia's hand, Elliot shook his head; "She's cold."

"Everyone chipped in." Fin said placing a large bunch of flowers of assorted colour on small pull out table. "They're not gas station flowers either." Fin tried a smile, it was a failed attempt. An awkward silence thickened in the air.

"Thanks." Elliot mumbled softly; leaning in he gently brushed the fallen hair off Olivia's face. "She's still got brain activity." a swarm of butterflies began fighting for air space in Elliot's stomach.

Munch entered the room, his demeanour changed on sighting of Olivia's fragile body. "Hey guys." he gave a nod to Fin. "I've got some news, but you're not going to like it."

Elliot turned to face Munch, his words plucked Elliot from his shocked trance; "Go on."

"We've got DNA from Olivia's apartment." Munch put both hands on his waist, "Thing is, the guy's unknown. His DNA has been found in a total of one hundred and thirty seven crime scenes across America. He's been nicknamed Casper."

"Like Casper the Ghost?" Fin asked.

Munch nodded, "Yeah, just not so friendly. He was first put on record for attempted murder of a woman, the victim was in her home. His MO is always the same. He preys on woman matching Liv's description." Looking at Elliot, Munch didn't want to continue talking, but knew he should; "He has never been unsuccessful in a kill. The last four victims were found in their apartments three days later."

Elliot looked at Munch, "Dead?"

Munch nodded, "Yeah."

Fin stood up and kissed Olivia on the forehead; "I'm going to get myself some Holy water. You in?"

"Do I look like the men in black?" Munch asked.

"Wrong movie!" Fin told Munch. "C'mon Stretch," Fin said, he put his hand on Elliot's shoulder and gave it a platonic squeeze. "She'll pull through this El."

"If he's Stretch, which one am I?" Munch asked remembering the three ghost uncles.

"Stinky."

"What's the other one?" he asked Fin.

"Fatso." The men laughed for the first time in hours, they finally had something to go on.

* * *

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Clumsily getting to her feet, Olivia's heart raced in her chest. Doubting herself, she knew she was no longer alone. Her desperate attempts to see who was with her in the darkness failed miserably. She may as well have had her eyes closed.

"Who's there?" she dared to call out; her voice echoed loudly, as did a second passing of heels. Turning quickly, Olivia's head spun in a twister of fear and bewilderment. Two cold hands rested on Olivia's shoulder blades just long enough for her to feel them, before pushing her so forcefully she fell to the ground. "What the hell?" she shouted as a burst of electric green swallowed her whole.

Seeing herself; seeing that short hair, that apartment. She remembered. "Oh God, don't do it."

It made no difference, she couldn't be heard. All Olivia could do was watch as her past self walked in to the building. A flood of regret drowned Olivia, slowing her down. She knew what was about to happen.

A gun shot rang out, jumping, she watched helplessly as the short haired brunette pulled out her gun and cell phone. "This is Detective Olivia Benson from the one – six; badge number four, zero, one, five, shots fired at six fifty three avenue D apartment two." The door opened; knowing what was coming next, Olivia felt the terror building in her stomach over flowing in to her blood stream. Reluctantly, she followed. Reliving every moment in that apartment ripped at Olivia's emotional being; she tried to turn away, but found her eyes drawn to those of Mr Plumber. She heard her own voice, begging, pleading with him to put the gun down. She heard herself making offerings, she could feel his cold stare upon her. Piercing her soul. He made her vulnerable.

"Please Mr Plumber, don't think I won't."

"Yeah, I'm counting on it Detective Benson."

"Don't do it, drop the weapon!" a short pause filled with the scared screams of Mr Plumber's hostage. "Drop your weapon!" Olivia demanded, this time louder.

"There aren't any bullets in my gun."

Olivia watched herself, an Olivia that was a decade younger; almost as if she was watching a complete stranger. The gun was shaking in her hands, the same stomach wrenching anger began tying itself in knots deep within her. The smirk. His smirk triggered the tightening of the knots in her stomach. Watching his eyes; she pulled the trigger twice.

With the second gun shot ringing out in her ears, Olivia knew Elliot would be there within seconds; just as he appeared she was dragged unwillingly in to her dark depression. "Elliot!" she screamed, "Please no, Elliot Please." She reached out her hands, the louder she screamed the more distant she became.

Olivia screamed with frustration; almost falling to the floor, she hugged her knees sobbing. "What the hell is this place?" she shouted out. The echo annoyed her just as much as the silence. "Hurry up Elliot. Please hurry up." she whispered in to her knees between sobs.

She sat alone as the silence engulfed her, again.


End file.
